writing effectively discussion, English homework help
PROMPT (Revision): Then select two paragraphs posted by classmates and edit them for concision. Please make sure that everyone has their paragraph read—if you see posts without responses, select them first.
Post a minimum of 200 words.
– Mark
This is a paragraph from my Exemplification essay. I chose to write a speech to parents as a principal of an elementary school explaining how television distorts a child’s perception of reality. This is the third paragraph in my speech/paper. I appreciate any and all comments and corrections.
In 1999, Lionel Tate was merely twelve years old when he was imitating his favorite wrestlers from his favorite wrestling show and executed a move on a six year old that later caused her death and resulted in young Tate being tried as an adult and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole (Canedy, 2001). Later that same year a seven year old boy caused the death of his younger sibling in the same manner, imitating his favorite wrestlers. What does this tell you as parents? Children have a difficult time determining or distinguishing reality from fiction and television only serves to amplify this confusion. As an adult, watching wrestling we are able to point out the fallacies and understand that being hit with a chair or being dropped on our head could lead to very serious injuries. However, watch that same thing from a child’s perspective; a person getting hit with a chair or being dropped on the head falls but gets right back up and continues to fight. A child would not think this is fake but that guy is really tough. Children often imitate what they see without thought or knowledge of real consequences. This is where the distortion of reality comes into play.
rothrock-
For this week discussion I decided to post a couple of paragraphs from my “Narrative Essay”. Because I’m telling a story, I kept my paragraphs on the short side, therefore they are three of them. Although I already submitted this essay and I won’t be able to use any of the corrections that will be suggested, I will treasure any feedback for future work. Thank you all in advance.
The teenage years are not easy. While desperately trying to find their own independence as individuals, teenagers have the tendency to relate more to friends than parents. They claim that parents do not understand them, friends, instead, do. This conception leads a lot of teenagers to disregard their parents’ advice, especially when the advice comes down to friends. I was not different.
I was fifteen and Steffy was my best friend. With her parents being gone most of the time for work, she was pretty much free to do whatever she wanted without having to report to anyone. Because of the lack of adult supervision, my mother had already expressed her disapproval of me hanging out with her.
One morning Steffy asked me if I wanted to skip school with her. She was not new to it, I, instead, had never done it before. Knowing that if my parents would have ever found out, I would have been in serious trouble, I took some time to think over the proposal. I said yes.
