Personal Experience with Alternations, English homework help
Personal Experience with Alternations
Conflicts naturally occur in all social environments. While conflicts can lead to problem resolution they can also lead to chaos and destruction. For this reason, it is important that humans learn how to handle conflicts effectively. Personally, I had to deal with conflicts during middle school and high school. For instance, a disagreement about a group homework project almost escalated into violence when one colleague tried to provoke me to hit him. The purpose of this illustrative essay is to show that in order to avoid violent conflicts must be solved following an assertive approach, an approach that is characterized by a behavior which maintains a balance between passive and aggressive behavior.
In order to be an assertive individual, one must learn both to control his/her aggressive tendencies and to avoid passive behavior due to fear. Controlling one’s aggressive behavior can be difficult, as individuals are prone to respond aggressively when they are provoked in a similar fashion. For example, when my former colleague pushed me because he disagreed with my opinion about the project I may have been tempted to push him back or even to hit him. In a similar fashion, Blake was murdered by his best friend because his friend was not able to control the anger he felt toward Blake because of what he may have perceived as a provocation. Fortunately, aggressive tendencies can normally be controlled, especially if we understand the importance of doing so. Passive aggressive can also be difficult to control, as people can feel fear toward others acting aggressively toward them. For example, I may have decided to shut down my opinion because I knew my colleague was physically stronger. Fortunately, I did not do so and I defended what I thought it was right.
An assertive behavior does not simply mean equilibrium between active and passive behavior but include certain social abilities. For instance, an assertive behavior can also mean the ability to mediate conflict, even when it is directed toward you. For example, when my colleague tried to provoke me I tried to rationalize with him that his anger is unjustified and that such a behavior does not belong to team work. Blake may have also tried to persuade his friend not to kill him, but his rationalization attempts were not successful. An assertive behavior can also mean the ability to understand the other’s perspective, as this can allow you to rationalize with him/her about the motives related to the conflict. For instance, I knew that the aggressive directed toward me by my colleague was also related to a general dislike that started much earlier, for which I believed it was not worth paying too much attention to the specific context of the conflict.
Assertive behaviors can avoid violence not only because they can be used to mediate conflict but also because they can avoid the occurrence of conflict. A person who behaves assertively toward others is less likely to be perceived either as a “bully” either as an easy target. For example, the fact that I behave assertively during most of my group projects helped me to avoid conflicts with other colleagues. While it is not clear whether Blake was an aggressive or a passive individual, he was not successful at avoiding conflict, though it cannot be said that what happened was his fault in any way.
In conclusion, in order to avoid violent conflicts one must follow an assertive approach, which is characterized by a behavior which maintains a balance between passive and aggressive behavior. In order to be assertive individuals must learn to control their aggressive and passive tendencies. An assertive behavior does not simply mean equilibrium between active and passive behavior but include certain social abilities. Assertive behaviors can avoid violence not only because they can be used to mediate conflict but also because they can avoid the occurrence of conflict.
