Need help to write a Persuasive paragraph

Need help to write a Persuasive paragraph

the specific feedback I need on this paragraph is : Topic Development, Sentence Structure, Organization, Grammar & Mechanics

FREE EDUCATION

Money should not be the reason to stop one from continuing education but at the same time making it free will only decrease the value of education. As we see the different between schools and colleges, half of high school graduate students are not qualified or ready for four years of the university instead go for community college. And other cannot offer the university so they go, the long way and cheaper which is a community college, the reason for this is because some schools are free. And most of the students don’t value it. But still it should be free, only to the students who will work and value it from the first high school year. Others who cannot work hard can still go for free trade course. This way it can help a lot of students which are dropping out from school and also helps to prevent crime caused by the student due to their stress of life. Also, in this way, we can find skilled and talented student in their own field, free courses, and study programs can prepare excellent specialists, who will work to bring benefits to themselves. To sum up, even though making education free can be very expensive for any country economy, advantages are invaluable. It may take several year, but the result will be wonderful because it builds the  strong and intelligent nation with confident about its future.People have the right to an education, and choosing to exercise their education, which can lead to a person learning how to think critically and learning how to make right decisions.