Concept Proposal for Drone-Based Security , English homework help
Please write two responses for two students discussions. 150 words for each.
Student 1’s discussion:
After I reading “Concept Proposal for Drone-Based Security at Salisbury College”, I think this proposal is not good for actually proposal. According to four parts (current situation, project plan, qualifications, & costs and benefits), let me talk about why I think this not good. Firstly, I think current situation need directly and clearly at beginning paragraph. The first sentence that the purpose of this proposal is to offer an innovative way to improve night-time security on campus at Salisbury College is so long and not clearer. Reader knows writer’s purpose hardly. And writer writes much introduction information about the security. I think he should go to know some situation, and do not write much information. Secondly, I think his project plan is not enough. He makes four steps to show his plan to help college to solve security problem. However, he does do many research. I think every plan need enough research, then you can go to make plan. Thirdly, I think benefit is better in this proposal. Writer gives examples of recent crimes on campus to show security problem to ask reader. Actual example can attract reader to pay attention this problem. Finally, write has the same problem with current situation in qualification. He asks too much useless information that describing the introduction of this organization to reader in the qualifications.
Comparing two proposals, I think “Growth and Flexibility with Telecommuting” has many details in four sections. It can help read know his purpose easily. But I like “Concept Proposal for Drone-Based Security at Salisbury College”. This proposal is simple. I study some things from two examples about proposal.
Student 2’s discussion:
In my opinion the proposal does, overall, a pretty good job of laying out the concept of their ideas. I think they did a good job with their current situation. However, I do feel like they need to expand and make specific their ideas in their project plan, their qualifications, and their costs and benefits. For one, I personally feel drones are not the way to increase security—especially at night. Unless their campus is incredibly well lit at night, or they mount the drones with lights, the video footage the drones get isn’t going to be of quality—I feel like it’ll be too dark and grainy. In addition, they say that they want to buy ten drones and put them on the edge of campus and they’ll follow students around to make sure they get to their destinations safely. The way they worded it in the proposal made it seem that the drones would only follow one student around at a time and, unless their student population is exactly ten that plan won’t work out very well. I also don’t understand why campus police would have to go to Florida to learn how to fly the drones, that seems like an extra expense when they can probably learn how to do it from the comfort of their own homes. Lastly, I feel like they need to lay the numbers out more-so than they do especially if the cost of these drones are going to come out of the pockets of the students in their tuition, because this is a proposal and not a grant proposal. In comparison to the “Growth and Flexibility with Telecommuting” proposal, this one is pretty terrible. The other proposal is well thought out, well written, explicitly detailed, and in general is a well-rounded proposal.
